


Broken

by LuminaCarina



Category: Death Note
Genre: Brother-Sister Relationships, Gen, Grief/Mourning, blames others, loves her brother
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-02
Updated: 2015-02-02
Packaged: 2018-03-10 04:10:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3276206
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LuminaCarina/pseuds/LuminaCarina
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sayu can never hate Light, nor will she ever blame him. She can and will blame the others, though.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Broken

She's broken now.

She was never very strong or smart, prefering to trust that her family and friends would help her in her times of need, and now she regrets being so dependable. Maybe it would hurt less if she knew how to deal with things on her own.

Yes, she regrets trusting so easily.

But even now, in the wake of the greatest tragedy of her life, she still can't believe it.  
Her brother was never bad, and he most certainly wasn't evil. She knows Light, knows him like a favourite sweater or her reflection in the mirror, and he would never become a villain.  
Maybe he had hypocritical morals, and a god complex, and yes, he was a mass murderer, but he was a good person. It sounds stupid even to her, but Sayu knows Light will never be a monster in her eyes.

(Sometimes she wakes up in the middle of the night, sweaty and breathless, her heart racing. She remembers her captivity, Mello and the mafia, and she asks herself who was really to blame? Mello, her captor, or Light, the one who led to her being captured? She immediately thinks of something else, and when morning light comes she all but forgets her doubts.)

He had tried to fix the entire world, rid it of cruelty and crime. He tried to do so using horrible methods, but as wrong as it was, it worked. Crime rates had fallen drastically, criminals were almost gone, and half the world was calling Light a god. Calling Kira a god.

She would never blame him for what he did, for he had at least tried. Tried, and almost succeeded.

But Light isn't the only one to break her.

Matsuda is there as well, the boyish man she had decided to date, and one of the group to hunt her brother down. After he tells her who Kira was, and how he died, she can't even look at him. It seems to her that, even though it was the shinigami to kill Light, it's Matsuda whose hands are covered in blood.

She wonders sometimes, is it normal to love and accept a killer, and refuse a hero?  
Her mother pushes her to move on and forget everything; to pretend Light never existed, that it was only ever them and her father, but Sayu will never do that. She would rather die that forget.

The only thing her mother does is make Sayu hate her.

Will she end up bitter and alone? Scarred by the deaths and betrayals of those closest to her? She thinks she will. Knows she will, in fact.

But in the end it doesn't matter. She isn't the only one mourning for Light. Misa, her brothers girlfriend, cries for his death. Misa jumps off a skyscraper, too. 

(And when she hears of what the model did, she laughs. She laughs so hard she starts crying, and later she avoids thinking about Misa.)

She's broken now, and somehow she likes the look of the shards.


End file.
